This is the story about my first trip on Psilocybe Semilanceata, also known as Magic Mushrooms or Liberty Caps.
It all started when I took about 0.3 grams of Liberty Caps around 9am and kind of forgot about it. One hour later I took some massive hits from my vaporizer, without realizing that this point in time was the onset for the mushrooms. For some strange reason I just felt like I had to take the weed, in a non-addictive way. The amount of vapor was massive. I have never seen anything like that before, but I did not think too much about it.
I was sitting in front of my computer when I suddenly felt to urge to lay down on the couch.
It was when I started seeing strange patterns and colors it struck me that it was the mushrooms. The sources of lights in the room was strange. There was strange pattern moving around like it was another dimension. And when I looked at my hands, it was like I had some black-transparent patterns moving around there too. At this point, it was simply pure euphoria.
I opened up the Soundcloud-app on my phone, and started to play HOME - Resonance (https://soundcloud.com/home-2001/resonance). The sound was amazing. It was like it drifted through everything. I know it does not make any sense. The most amazing thing was when I noticed that the cover image was alive. It was alive in multiple dimensions. I tried to understand what it pictured, but I did not understand. Everything was just moving and I was just enjoying it. Colors appeared in colors. Everything seemed clear and I understood that colors were colors, and that colors are and were the entire existence. I could see more than I had ever seen before. I knew everything.
As I sat in the couch and looking at this image, I saw a version of myself sitting there. Laughing. It was someone else, but it was me. That body was having a good time.
Then there was a sudden change in everything, I experienced my own death. It was unclear, but it felt so natural. I could not tell what time this was, but I was wearing clothes I do not currently own. It was not frightening, but it felt like time was stuck. I was alone, but not lonely.
It kind of faded away and I started to feel sick in my body. A bit dizzy and slight nausea. I knew this was the mushrooms and the weed. So I calmed myself down by just thinking that it will pass as time moves on, but it felt so bad that I had to lay down in my bed. I also considered calling an ambulance, but I have read some bad trip reports before. I knew it was going to be better.
I was just feeling sick and trying to make time pass by watching videos on YouTube, and listening to music. I was alone, but I felt a connectedness to everything and everyone. I was not lonely. My dog noticed my strange behaviour and mood, but he was good. I told him to just lay down and relax, and he did.
On Spotify, I found a Psilocybin-research playlist and pressed play. The first (and a random) song had a very special cover image. I felt this image was the beginning of everything. The entire existence. That made me think that when the song was finished, the bad trip would be better. Those 8 minutes felt so incredible long, and during those 8 minutes I could no longer read. The letters where jumping around in lines in different dimensions and words did not make any sense. There was also a point when my head felt like a dough of loaf.
It felt like my physical self was in a different place than my mind.
During this song, I felt like I was really dying, but it was not the vision I had of my own death earlier. It felt so real, so I texted my girlfriend that I was tripping on mushrooms and that I was unsure if I will survive, but that I probably will. I told here I needed to talk with her because I loved her. This was also when I realized that love is everything.
Love is everything.
I do not need anything in return as long as I am allowed to love my girlfriend. I know she loves me back. This is what true love feels like, and I am so grateful that I have it.
After the song had finished I put on the next song, but had to stop it because it was bending time and space in a way that was difficult to process. I could also hear this song from a completely new angle, if that makes any sense.
When things started to come down, I understood that I do not know everything at all. It was like I reached another level of understanding.
This trip made me get a better understanding of myself. It was a deep and introspective journey into myself. In no way could I be able to prepare for what this was. This has really changed me and my life. It was a real eye opener.
Now I know that death is real.
Now I do not fear death anymore.
Now I know that every day is an adventure.
Now I know that I am my own contribution to the world.
Now I know that I can make the world a better place.
Now I know that love is everything.
In many ways, I got answers to questions about myself and why I am the way that I am, but it is difficult to put it into words. I feel the urge to talk with people.
The day after was different. It was so easy to reflect over whatever I saw. And I could see kindness in everyone. It is still very frightening to know that I have experienced death, but in many ways I am so grateful of what I saw.
I feel like my mission in life is to help other people.